Life gets better not by chance but by desperate efforts from individual end.
And sometimes these efforts include making tough but necessary decisions, like deciding to end the relationship with friends, relatives, and even siblings.
Understand The Value People Bring In Your Life
Not everyone is going to have the same impact on your life. Some people will encourage you and push you towards your goals. And then there are those who will make you feel miserable, demotivated, and incompetent. Incidentally, this latter group would often include those who you least expect, including your best friend and that uncle who always seem to give you “good life advice”.
In order to make your life better, one of the keys is to effectively deal with people who make you feel bad, no matter the relationship you share with them.
In that context, here are 6 tips on how to deal with people who make you feel bad:
1. Talk to them directly
There’s no alternative to this. You cannot expect them to magically know how you feel about their words and actions intended towards you.
Communication is the ultimate problem- solver.
So, sit with them and talk. Be open about how you don’t appreciate what they say and do. Explain to them how they make you feel bad, and how you don’t like feeling that way.
If they really care about you, they would take serious note of this conversation and mend their habits.
2. ALWAYS be respectful
In the conversations you have with individuals who make you feel bad, it’s incredibly important to remain respectful.
You are right here. By acting aggressively and saying things that don’t exactly define who you are, you don’t want to give away the leverage.
So, get a hold of your emotions. Stay calm and courteous, even when provoked from the other side.
3. Try to understand their point
It’s also important that you understand the other person’s circumstances and point-of-views.
Maybe he diminishes your goals because that’s what his parents do for his dreams?
Maybe he is always bad to you because that’s how his other friends are to him?
Maybe she says that “you will never win” because that’s what the society has said to her all her life?
Every bad has an explanation behind. It’s a responsibility of the good to first recognize that explanation before acting in any way.
So, after your initial conversation with them, allow yourself some time to understand why they are who they are. Do their reasons seem legible? Do they have a proper explanation of why they act that way with you?
Deploy massive empathy before taking any definite decision.
4. Give them some time
After your initial conversation, give them enough time to ponder on the whole situation.
Give them enough time to think about everything that you have said; to think on their words and actions that hurt you; to think about their attitude and habits.
Observe if they want to change things. If they do, you will evidently notice their efforts in that direction. If not, you’re left with the next two tips-cum-options.
5. Gradually decrease the time you spend with them
If those people do not care about how they make you feel and are reluctant to change so to accommodate your comfort, it’s time to take some substantial action on your end.
Start spending less and less time with them.
Yes, he is your best friend. But that doesn’t mean you should give to him 2 hours every day. Make it 2 hours a week.
Yes, that’s your sister and you share the same house. But that doesn’t mean you should converse with her all the time, on every little occasion. Keep your talk small and relevant. Be as limited (and polite) as possible.
This is easier than it sounds.
Start slow and retrieve yourself from that relationship.
6. End the relationship
This is the most radical move but then it’s often needed. If the person is making you feel worse to an extent that it’s now affecting your life (your dreams, actions, and individuality), it’s important that you end the relationship with her/him.
Don’t do a clean break-up. More so if the person is very close to you.
Follow the previous tip. Start slowly; spend less and less time with them. And then reach a point where you have no communication with them.
If they ask “what’s wrong” – tell them exactly what’s wrong. Tell them you don’t want to spend a lot of time with them because they don’t make you feel right. And you will return 5, 10 years from now when they genuinely realize their mistake.
Our life fundamentally changes the moment we decide to change our circle we hang out with.
Optimism and happiness are contagious. If we’re spending time with people who are happy and positive, it would reflect in our own lifestyle. We would automatically start radiating the same vibe and emotions.
The intent of this article is to help you create a positive ecosystem around you that fosters your dreams and happiness. This is not possible until you learn how to effectively deal with people who make you feel bad.