Death is inevitable.
Sure, the unexpected ones, as opposed to those that are natural, leave a bigger hollow in the heart. But then again, every journey, in whatever form or circumstance, comes to an end.
And it’s essential we know how to effectively deal with such ends of the loved ones.
The deceased person, after all, wouldn’t want you to spend weeks, months and even years lamenting on their death, wasting your precious time, and making yourself miserable – would they?
Of course, it’s not easy to move on. The person you’ve known for so long – maybe your whole life – is gone.
It’s the worst thing in the world!
But then the key isn’t necessarily to “move on”; it isn’t about forgetting that person and moving on in your journey. That’s not exactly possible if you have lost your mother, dad, sibling, and children,
Here are 7 effective tips on how you can deal with the grief of losing a family member:
1. Let Yourself Feel The Pain
Many people try to suppress their feelings. They try to act strong. You shouldn’t!
It’s a big loss. It demands to be grieved over. The pain demands to be felt.
So, feel the pain. Be in a miserable state. Grieve. Cry more.
The more you let out your emotions, the lighter you will feel. And this feeling of emotional “freeness” is important to feel better and to take control of your situation wisely.
2. Do Not Isolate Yourself
This is another mistake many people make. They try to isolate themselves from others. They spend more time alone. They consciously avoid other humans.
It’s not psychologically healthy. We’re social beings. Especially when you’re going through such a difficult time, you must surround yourself with the right people.
Stay connected with your other family members, as well as your close friends. Talk to them often. Share with them your feelings. Listen to them.
The more you talk to the positive people during such time, the better you will feel.
3. Avoid Thinking About The “Future”
It isn’t necessarily the death of the person that hurts. It is the idea of living the rest of your life without that person that feels worse.
And this is what you want to avoid at least in the early weeks and month
Do not think about the future.
If the idea of “next year” without this person feels dreadful, think of the next month. If that’s painful too, think of the next week or the next day or the next hour.
Do not think of how it’s going to be so difficult to spend Diwali, Eid, anniversaries without this person.
You’re going to have plenty of happy days ahead but you won’t realize it now. So, there’s no point in thinking about the “future” right now and making yourself depressed.
4. Be The Shoulder To Cry On
You have lost your loved one. But so has the next person in your family.
Don’t just sit in the corner and cry. Be useful for the rest of your family members during this difficult time. Support them emotionally. Be the shoulder that they can cry on.
Helping others is very empowering. It will leave you feeling much better.
5. Celebrate Their Life
Yes, the person has died. But they also lived… They also lived a life that got you – and others – so connected to them… They lived a life that won love and admiration and care from you.
That life must be celebrated.
So, do talk about this person to others. Talk about how kind they were, all the good things they did, the help they were to everyone. Preserve their legacy.
6. Know When “It’s Time”
It will take you some time to process what has happened. Your mind will take some time to get used to the fact that this person isn’t there with you anymore. You will be in pain for days and weeks.
However, this grieving process should continue only until a point.
Beyond that, it can be emotionally and physically damaging.
After all, you cannot spend your months and years still stuck in the same state. You must make progress in your life to live happily and peacefully.You deserve that!
So, after a point, know when it’s time to move past the grieving state and take control of your life.
There’s no definite period. It depends on your psychological state, circumstances, and the dynamics you shared with the deceased person.
But you will have that innate feeling when you would know that it’s time to take control. And when you feel that feeling, you must act promptly.
7. Seek Professional Help
Losing someone close can send many people into depression. This is especially for those who have a history of mental illness – or if the problem runs in their family.
If your pain is unbearable, it has continued for too long, it’s affecting your physical health, and/or you’re having suicidal thoughts – getting help from a professional is likely the best idea.
Go and see a therapist or clinical psychologist. Getting their help can really make a big difference.
These are seven tips on how you can effectively deal with the loss of your family member.
Understand that it’s not going to be easy. It isn’t supposed to be! When you lose someone so close, it’s the toughest challenge to get hold of that fact emotionally and psychologically. But then you have no other choice but to make your way out of that challenge and live a happy and fulfilling life.
Do grief but after a point, take control and make proactive efforts to get your life back on track. You have to!
Share this post with someone who needs help in dealing with the loss of their loved ones.