Even when it’s for good, change is neither easy nor desirable. A large part of our problems can easily be solved if only we’re action-oriented to bring about a few changes in life. BUT we don’t do that.
Not that we don’t want those difficulties to go away. But the majority of people don’t wish to trade-off the certainties of today for the good times of tomorrow. It’s quite a paradox given, sadly, most of us live today for tomorrow.
Take an example. You’re in a toxic relationship that’s making you unhappy. You can easily get away from that person and fix things for yourself. But you’re unlikely to make that change. Why?
Or, say you’re unhappy at your desk job. You know traveling will make your life so much better. Yet, there’s a very less chance you’re going to change how things are right now. Why is that?
Why do we often choose unhappiness over the idea of change?
The answers to these whys are fair and simple.
We Fear Change
It’s a fundamental trait of humans: we dislike uncertainty of tomorrow. Why do you think, even in the modern culture, astrology is still so prevalent? It’s because of our impatience to be certain of “what next”.
People don’t want to end relationships, they don’t want to change their career, they don’t want to take necessary actions to fix their lives for the better. In part, because of undefined tomorrow.
In fact, this is actually one of the major reasons why people mourn over one’s death; it’s not as much about the loss itself as it is about “now what”—how will they live without that person, how will their days look without her/him.
The fear of not knowing what will happen tomorrow influences majority to stick to daily redundancy over choosing changes that can actually make their lives better.
It’s a pity state, no doubt; and it’s quite a contradiction. People want their problems to get fixed—but they are not ready to make the change that’s essential to fix those problems.
At this very moment, if you’re struggling in your life, there’s a very good chance that you’re one of the same who fears change due to the uncertainty it brings. And the first step in fixing this critical state is to actually recognize that you’re dealing with it. First you recognise, next you take necessary steps.
“Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change.”
Here are five tips to fight your fear of change:
Fight that Fear
1. Stop Thinking About Tomorrow
When tomorrow looks tough, unpredictable and unimaginable, the best (and easiest) thing you can do is to stop thinking about tomorrow and start focusing on today.
Replace your thoughts of tomorrow with that of today.
Focus on making this very hour and moment good for yourself. Don’t think “what will”—think “what now”. You will feel so much better when the unnecessary weight of tomorrow is off your back. You will be much more open to making changes.
2. Make Yourself Uncomfortable
Ridiculous ideas and pointless thoughts plague our mind when we’re sitting idle or are too comfortable in our state. Really, empty mind is devil’s workshop.
So, do something that’s out of your comfort zone. Break the curse of your years-long routine. Get yourself busier than before.
If you don’t like hitting the gym, go anyway and workout. If you’re not social, join a social club. If you usually sleep for 9 hours every day, take 6-hour nap starting today.
These out-of-routine uncomfortable activities will be like a jolt to your mind, which will keep you occupied throughout the day. And when you’re already occupied, there would be less room to worry about the tomorrow and the uncertain implications of change.
3. Control Your Thoughts
Of course, this is easier said than done. But it’s no way impossible.
There are a few basic things that you can do to control your mind. And once you have it under control, you would find it so much easier to avoid your ‘what-if’ worries.
If you don’t already, start doing meditation. Just 10-minutes every day spent meditating can be a life-changer for you. Listen to bhajans and kathas. Eat healthily. Get active; walk more, don’t take commute. Listen to the right music.
These basic measures can play a significant role psychologically, helping you better control your thoughts.
4. Talk to Your Family and Friends
It’s very (very) difficult to combat your worries and pain and negative thoughts alone. When you have people around you to offer the right advice and, most importantly, keep you occupied, things become so much easier.
Now, of course, you cannot have just about “anyone”. Having negative and manipulative people around will do worse than good.
So, find a family member or friend who you can trust – someone who understands you better. And talk to that individual. Share with them whatever you have in your head. And just hang around together, talking about anything and everything.
Being alone is possibly the greatest thing a human can do to be happy. But it’s also difficult and not suited for all. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed with your thoughts of change, just mingling with loving and optimistic people will leave you feeling much elevated and relieved.
5. Ask Nature
Nature is the best healer.
Step outside your home. Let the sun bathe you with warmth. Let the cold wind shape your physical being. Let the birds jam you a beautiful tune with chirps. Look at the sky. Witness the miracles that we live with every day but fail to recognize.
Embrace nature. Caress the grass you’re sitting on. Smile. Speak out all your worries and confusing questions. You will find their right solutions in your heart. And all your fears will cease to exist.
Change is not important—it’s essential.
If you want to progress in life, you must be willing to give up the position and situation you’re in right now with a hope that your tomorrow will be better.
Don’t let your fear of change stop you from living and growing and achieving great things.
The above five tips, if deployed in your daily life with consistency, almost guarantees to do you away from all your fear and worries to making changes. Promise.
Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it. Make changes.