The initial spark fades, and the honeymoon period gets over. Comes the time when reality hits—not everything is so la-la-land-esque anymore. From own compatibility to parents’ expectations, there’s a lot to consider when trying to make relationships a success.
In this course, post the honeymoon period, on way for a possible happy ever after, pops many fundamental problems. All the “reasons” emerge—why the two can’t be together, why they don’t get along with each other, why they are not the right fit?
Those who manage to answer these reasons, together, with practicality and hope, sail through. Those who can’t— they crumble, ending up devasted and even depressed, with a skeptical idea of love.
If you’re in a relationship that has been on for more than a year, there’s a good chance that you two have your own share of problems. Arguments happen even on the tiniest of things, fights are consistent, and doubts never leave your head. But in the end, your conscience will still whisper to give it another try.
Also Read: How to Fight Your Fear of Change?
Is It Worth the Save?
Before you go about giving your relationship one more try, it’s important that you ask yourself – and the partner – if it’s even worth it.
Yes, the two of you “love” each other at this very moment. But that might very well be infatuation. Besides, to sustain a relationship, one needs more than just love. Care, respect, and empathy – these are just as important part of a connection as love.
When the four components connect, you get the ideal compatibility that beats all the doubts and reasons. When the compatibility is strong, all your “I hate you” eventually always end up in “I love you” and “I don’t care” ends up in “did you have your dinner”.
So, before you try finding a solution to your problems, ask if it’s really worth it. Does this relationship has more than just love? Can you two really see a future together? Are you compatible with each other? Will this solution last or will you two be back in the same place a month from now?
If you get a green in here, move on to fix the problem.
Drop Your Ego
Theoretically, problems could be many.
You don’t like him being so possessive about you. You expect her to call you. Why is she out this time of the night? Why can’t he appreciate anything that you do?
In theories, problems in a relationship could be plenty and diverse. But when you look at it up&close, fundamentally, the biggest problem usually counts down to your ego. Your ego is the biggest villain here.
Compromise is a big part of any lasting relationship. If you want your relationship to sustain – happily at that – you must be ready to make compromises in what you like, prefer, and expect. And this is just NOT possible if you’re carrying around your ego in every conversation.
Answer : what’s the biggest problem in your relationship right now?
Unless it’s something grave, answer this… why can’t you compromise? Why can’t you have it her/his way? Why are you so inflexible to an extent that’s destroying one of the best things that have happened to you?
Since you think the solution is worth it, you virtually have NO reason to not apologize to your partner, even when you believe you aren’t at fault. You have ZERO reasons why you should not drop your ego.
Get together, communicate, be empathetic, smile, apologize, affirm of a better tomorrow, and embrace. If this relationship is worth it, there’s no point minding a problem and letting it ruin the life of both. The best solution is dropping your ego and accepting reality.
Believe it: your partner wants to solve this problem just as much as do. So, if you’re taking the first step with the ego-less, empathetic approach, rest assured that your partner will take two extra steps.
This is the simplest way to resolve any and every problem in a relationship.
Problems manifest from lack of understanding, over-expectations, and miscommunication. The moment you drop your ego, everything will fall in the right place.