Failure is the stepping stone to success, that is what that cliche narrative goes. Say that to someone who’s actually going through failure, the words will fall flat, leaving no positive ripples.
Failures are painful and scary. Interestingly and ironically, they are imperative – and inevitable even – on the way to success. So, if you’re chasing big dreams and goals, trying to avoid failure is a bad strategy. Instead, you must teach yourself how to face failures with your chin up – how to *really* turn that experience into a flat ground where you can build your fort of success.
Indeed, it’s easier said than done. To help you with that, here are five tips on how you can turn your failure into a stepping stone to success:
1. Find support in family and friends
This is something that so many people don’t even care about and it’s a mistake.
When you’re down, no matter how strong you are, you need the right people by your side to help you get up and move forward.
This is the time to find support from the people who love you.
Find friends and family who care about you. Spend more time with them. Share your emotions with them. This can be therapeutic, helping you find your emotional strength.
Remember, failures and losses become much more difficult when you’re surviving them alone. With people you love, that tough time passes-by quicker.
2. Embrace your failure
You failed and this is something that you’ll have to eventually realize. The sooner you do, the easier you will find yourself moving on.
Maybe your business failed. Maybe your investment was wiped in a market crash. Maybe you failed in your exam.
No matter what “failure” you’re experiencing, embrace the reality. Come to terms with that.
If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like staying depressed, stay depressed.
This is an imminent phase in the recovery process. The sooner you bypass it, the quicker you will feel better.
3. Eliminate the fear of judgment
One of the biggest reasons why people don’t want to fail is because they are afraid of judgments from others.
“See, I told you… You can’t do it!” “You’re a loser.” “You can’t do anything in life.” And then, of course, there will so many people laughing and condescending.
The important thing to realize here is that you can’t control how people react, but you can control how you react to others’ reactions.
So, eliminate your fear of getting judged by others. Tell yourself that these people do not matter to you – because they really don’t.Their opinions do not matter. How can they judge someone else when they are dealing with their own insecurities and failures?!
Grow a thick skin. Don’t try to hide from them; instead, face their judgment from the front and act strong.
Having friends and family in your support here would help a lot.
4. Outline what did you learn
Admittedly, this is a rather cliched step, but an important one nonetheless.
Your failure is only a failure in the true sense if you don’t let that experience teach you anything.
So, in the recovery phase, spend time in self-introspection. This isn’t to blame others or the circumstances but to understand the reality from every angle.
Why didn’t this work out? What went wrong? What other things you could have done to save yourself? Was it the lack of hard work? Was it your bad decision? Was it the lack of patience?
Ask yourself such questions to extract lessons from your experience of failures. Write them down on a piece of paper and make sure to never commit the same mistakes again.
5. Take enough time in starting again
Here’s something many people do… When they lose, they want to win as quickly as possible so to cover their failure. This usually stems from personal insecurity and fear of judgment.
This is a mistake. When you try to rush through things by acting impulsively, you’re more likely to make wrong decisions.
In such situations, you should slow down the pace, outline the right plan this time and make proper arrangements for your next big move. All these require you to spare enough time; meaning, you must deploy enough patience.
Remember, life is long. There’s enough time for all of us no matter what stage of life we’re in. Moreover, if you manage to win even just once, your legacy would be represented by that one win and not the countless failures you encountered.
So, take time in starting back again with whatever you failed in the first place; use this time in planning and making strategies.
Yes, you encountered a failure in your journey. BUT you haven’t failed in life. You still have a long way to go. You still have plenty of opportunities lined up ahead.
Don’t get discouraged. As mentioned, when you’re chasing big dreams and goals, it’s only natural that you will fail. Do not get crippled down by that setback. Use that experience to create the next chapter in your life – a chapter where you’re wiser and stronger.