Today’s “cool culture” has got hold of even something as fundamental as the idea of friendship. And it’s quite evident in the kind quotes that do rounds on the web with the messianic intent…
“A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be sitting next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’!”
If you’ve fallen for such schemes, actually believing them, either you’re surrounded by the wrong friends, or you’re the wrong one yourself.
The idea of “best friend” is now exasperatingly trivialized, in particular among the young ones. Liking pictures on Instagram is treated as being there for each other AND hitting clubs together is equivalent to emotional support. And, of course, partaking in other’s mischief is considered as trust between the two.
Needless to say, the true definition of best friend is beyond what the cool-crowd paints. And for the teens and even the grown-ups, it’s essential to establish the reality for their own sake, as well as that of their offspring.
Here are five distinctive features of best friends that separate them from those who pretend in this role:
1. They respect your family
Calling other’s parents with nicknames is the new normal for friends. For the sake of few giggles, it seems fine to disrespect the elders. However, a genuinely good friend would always respect your mum, dad, and other family members just like their own. She/he would listen to them, admire their presence and consider their opinions.
2.They offer positive criticism
When you’re doing something wrong, you need to be called out. However, this “called out” part has several ways. The pretend-friend would correct you in a negative way, with a reluctant opinion, that will eventually hurt your pride and confidence. On the other hand, a good friend would provide you a positive criticism, also offering you a constructive way on how you can fix the wrong. Just talking to them would make you feel right and NOT regretful to what you did.
3.They understand and respect your comfort
In the garb of “that’s what friends do”, the right best friend WOULD NOT drag you to places and events where you’re not comfortable. She or he wouldn’t tell you uncomfortable things. Your opinions, activities and overall comfort level would be respected and even prioritized.
4.They always listen
You have problems. You’re dealing with things inside. You’re confused and need help. Your real friends would be more than welcoming to hear you out without judging you. They would hear you uninterrupted until you have everything out of your system and you’re relieved. Contrarily, a pretend-best friend would not only interrupt you by undermining the seriousness of your problems, but they would also judge you by passing irrelevant remarks.
5.They create positive energy around you
This is as simple as it gets. Having good friends around you would add value to your life. They would make you feel better, more secure, and more confident. They would support your dreams and ambitions. In their presence, you would always feel motivated and happy. On the other hand, the pretend-friends would create negative energy around you, which would make you feel bad, provoked and discontent.
These are five distinct features of the real best friends that separate them from the pretend-ones who are shaped by today’s “cool culture” and flawed ideas.
Do a quick audit and find out about the kind of friends you’re surrounded by.
Following, do an audit of your own self and find the kind of friend you are to others.
Whether you have bad friends, or you’re the wrong one yourself, make some serious changes in your life. Over the years, being surrounded by the right people, who are in sync with the real definition of best friends, will make the biggest difference in your life.